Don’t get me wrong, I love birds. And cedar waxwings look really cool, but all they eat is berries and then they go roost in the top of my oak tree and shit all over my van. Seriously, f**k those guys. They did all this destruction in the space of an hour. I had to get the windex out and wash the windshield before I could leave, because I knew the wipers would be no help.

Illustration for article titled Goddam Birds
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Illustration for article titled Goddam Birds
Illustration for article titled Goddam Birds

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