Good Morning, Oppo

Illustration for article titled Good Morning, Oppo

Don’t do drugs, kids.

I found this high school report card in an old paperback. It’s from the last grading period of my sophomore year. Not my finest work, and possibly the nadir of my high school career (though I know I failed at least one other literature class at some point). Looks like I might have skipped a little bit more school than I remembered. What I do remember, though, is smoking a lot of pot in those days. Perhaps there is a correlation. At least I got an A in band.


In the British novel course, we read (or were supposed to read) Great Expectations. If you want to turn kids off British lit, have them read Great Expectations. If you want kids interested, read A Tale of Two Cities. French I enjoyed, obviously. I don’t remember much about an entire course on the French Revolution, but I do remember that Mr. Collins was a very strange man, prone to corny jokes (“If you’re an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European!”. That’s a C in on-level algebra, and an E in advanced (not even AP) biology. I was was never much of a math and science guy, clearly. And a B in gym? How does that even happen?

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