Brazil is shit in most aspects, but if there's one field where we rise above the rest, it's criminal creativity. Some crooks called me on my cell phone today, claiming they had kidnapped my son. They even went as far as putting some punk ass kid on the other end of the line screaming for help as soon as I asked what the fuck was going on. Their act actually sounded pretty legit, and I figure someone with a weaker heart may have bought their bullshit.

Oh yeah, and an actual son, since I don't have any.