What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo

I ate some nice food and had a couple of beers and a cup of coffee. I was also really fucking out of place in the VIP party. So I quickly left the party and mingled with the commoners on the “show” floor. Some assorted mussings and incoherent thoughts below.

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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo

I climbed inside the Colorado ZR2, wished that it came with a manual until I glanced down at the seat. What the fuck is with this shit? This gap between the plastic seat surround and the cushion looks like something out of a ‘03 Hyundai Elantra.

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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Jeep’s Sangria Metallic is one of the most beautiful colors I’ve seen. In most light it appears black, then when you get up close the purple shines through. Absolutely lovely.

Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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The most useless seat award goes to the front middle seat in the outgoing Ram Power Wagon.

Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Good luck sitting there if you have legs.

Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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The RS5 Sportback has a nice interior that is killed by the stuck on screen. The carbon fiber looks like candy though.

Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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They had two Alfa Quadrofolios there, but only the Stelvio was on the floor and unlocked. The Giulia Quad was out in the hallway behind rope. Speaking of outside in the hallway, that’s where the cool kids were.

Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
Illustration for article titled Got passes for the VIP opening night of the Cincinnati Auto Expo
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It also smelled like someone had shat themselves where the BMWs were on the floor.

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