I'm waiting for my train home when all of a sudden I hear an unfamiliar automated announcement: "POLICE POLICE. Please meet the next arriving train in the station. POLICE POLICE." Well, that's not good.

Turns out a rather unbalanced man had shit himself (massively), removed his pants and proceeded to wipe his ass all over two subway cars and several terrified passengers. I didn't see the guy, apparently he had gotten off at the previous stop not a minute earlier. But I immediately knew something like that had happened when the train pulled in, because the middle two cars were completely empty, which just doesn't happen in Manhattan without some sort of smell emergency.

The picture above is taken through the window of one of the poo-bombed cars and positioned so that you don't see all the shit (it was real gross), just the stains. Just imagine these covering every below-butt-level surface on the car's interior. They took the whole train out of service on the spot, which I do appreciate, as I'm sure something like this has happened in many, many subway cars here.