The Federal Government Grant and Treasury Department just called me to tell me I was selected with a group of 1,500 citizens to receive a $7,000 grant from the US government. I had a hard time understanding the lady’s words through her thick accent, but we managed to communicate eventually (it must be all those diversity initiatives finally paying off so that our government is hiring people from so many ethnic backgrounds!). Anyway, all she needed to know was the answers to a few questions:
Her: May I ask you your name?
Me: Michael Schumacher.
Her: And what is your zip code?
Her: And what will you use the money for, perhaps to pay bills or buy clothes?
Me: I’ll buy Whataburger gift cards for my friends.
Her: Your friends? What about yourself?
Me: Well, I’m currently on a diet.
Her: Oh...Are you employed?
Me: Yes. (I was disappointed she didn’t ask me what my job was; I had a good answer ready).
Anyway, she then gave me a number to call the awards center ((518) 380-2125) and the confirmation number of JE105. All I have to do is call that number with my confirmation and collect my $7,000!