If you have a date tonight, don't forget to mention today's namesake! Saint Valentine was a badass priest who married couples against the wishes of Roman Emperor Claudius. The motherfucker got caught, so he was sentenced to death by stoning. Well, the stones failed to kill him, so after a bit, the authorities got tired and just decided to behead him.

That'll be sure to woo your date. Yep. Super cheery anecdote.

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