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Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Illustration for article titled Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Ok, they weren’t this bad, and just looked a little wet. Wrong! I landed flat on my back and slid down all of the steps in front of my house. OUCH! But the best was yet to come...


I picked myself up and crawled back into the house where I proceeded to pass out. I woke up with my face smashed into the corner, between the door and wall. The nosepieces on my glasses are bent way out of position thanks to my faceplant and I am seriously sore - arms, knee, ankle, back, head. All this because I wanted to get some salad.

I don’t have a problem with snow, but ice fucking terrifies me. The only place I like it is in my drinks, thankyouverymuch. Given what I just went through I think I’ll stay home and avoid all the idiots on the road that have no idea how to drive on this crap. In a way I’m happy I’m not dispatching anymore as I can see vehicles sliding all over (and off) the roads, and now I don’t have to deal with it.


The pain is getting a bit worse, and I don’t have any fucking insurance. Hopefully it’s just sprains and scrapes otherwise I’m screwed. I’m just going to crawl into bed and ignore the world for a little while...

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