Toby people watching for your time.
I am dreading this thing I have to attend today. As I get older, I am trying to restrain my instincts toward confrontation and conflict. At this event, there will be a number of people who were my “friends” for years, who happily accepted money and support from me in business, but turned their backs on me the minute I got some bad press. These are gutless people, and I can talk shit to them and they will not do anything about it. But I am trying not to do that. Rational me thinks it really isn’t worth it, but emotional me says fuck ‘em, make them squirm. I hate nothing more that cowardly, weaselly, two faced people, but I believe I need to learn to let those people exist in their own shittiness and let it go. I am trying to prepare myself to do so, but I also know it will be hard to resist the temptation when they say stupid, self-important shit in today’s meetings. I need to learn to let it go. I’m trying, I really am.
Example: There is a lawyer from one of the biggest ag trade associations who attends every year. He is the s on of one of the richest farmers in California who has a comfy, high paying low stress job because he is the son of one of the richest farmers in California. Last year, he started lecturing the group about the dynamics of sexual harassment cases, so I piped in and asked how many of those cases he had actually defended, knowing full well the answer was zero. He stared daggers at me after being embarrassed in front of the group. While that sort of thing can be fun, it is the kind of thing I am trying to train myself to not do. Embarassing stupid entitled assholes can become a full time obsession if you let it.
Mrs. IM would remind me to behave if she was here. I really need to try.