Now I know what you’re thinking, well if he’s a drunk asshole driving through a school zone report his ass to the PD and he’ll pretty much lose his driving license forever (like when my ex flipped her car over with another dude inside it - but that’s another story). It’s a bit more complicated than that though, especially since I don’t have any real evidence, other than that maybe this is what’s happening. I basically live in a school zone, to the point where my backyard is separated by an elementary school’s playground only by my own fence. There is only one road that allows for access to the parking lot/student loading-unloading zone off to the side that’s hard to describe verbally because cockamamie American suburb streets. Every time when I walk along the sidewalk of this road, I find a freshly tossed Budweiser can with a good bit of beer still left in it that wasn’t there before the school’s final bell rings and magically just appears there tossed onto the grass between the road and the sidewalk after all the car and neighborhood foot traffic picking up kids has gone. Every single day. And only during the school year, not the summer or deep winter months. So yeah, the conclusion is pretty goddamn fucking obvious, some complete and utter jackhole is picking up his or her kid while drunk and driving in a school zone drunk along a road with lots of kids and parents and tossing out beer cans WHILE ALL OF THIS LITERALLY GOES UNNOTICED BY EVERYONE BUT ME who just finds the aftermath of the discarded beer can. This has been going on for at least since the beginning of the previous school year. If you’re wondering why it took me so long to report this, it’s because I’m really slow and only put two and two together now.

But anyway, I need help trying to figure out how to catch this in the act and then what to do with it.