Mom’s 2009 G37x is getting up there in mileage and age, and she’s on the lookout for a new car. She’s got a loan for anything under $100,000. Her requirements are as follows:

  • It must be new
  • It cannot be a Ford product (fuck if I know why)
  • It cannot be a truck (already have one)
  • It must have balls

She says she wants an SUV. Dad is trying to get her into a Land Cruiser, but every time he brings it up she mentions the Trackhawk has damn near twice as much horsepower for the same price. She really wants a JK/JL, but the 6cyl isn’t going to cut it. I think she wants a Jeep with a V8 because dad and I each have one and she’s jelly. What would you get?