I just remembered this and felt like sharing.

Over a decade ago when I still had a landline, I started getting these messages left on my answering machine by a kid who sounded like he was maybe 8-10 years old. In a trying to be creepy deep voice, he’d leave messages like “I am deaaaaath. I’m coming to kill you tonight. Fuuuuuuuck. Fuck. Shit. You’re going to die.” I guess he was just dialing random numbers and liked mine because it was hooked up, so he’d call maybe once or twice a week. Obviously I didn’t take it seriously, because if baby Satan wanted to kill me, he’d have to get in line behind all of the people whose balls have already dropped.

After a while though, I got sort of tired of having to explain to people “oh, no, we’re not in a slasher film. That’s just some weird kid who calls me when he gets bored with making necklaces out of stray cats’ heads.”

I forget if I did a *69 or what, but somehow I got the number and the city it was registered to and called their local PD and told them that the little weirdo was getting irritating. The officer I spoke to said they’d send someone by the house and speak to his parents.

About a week later I get another message on my machine. It went something like

Kid: “you’re going to die. I am death. I am coming for you toni–”

Adult: “You mother fucker! What the fuck are you doing to piece of shit”

Kid: Screams, presumably while being beaten

Now, I’m not an advocate for child abuse, and I’m sure that this home environment led to this kid being such a little weirdo in the first place, and I assume that he didn’t mature into a well-adjusted adult, buuuuut, he never did call again.