If Tavarish gets to do it, I do too.

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  • The secondary timing chain tensioners had to be preventatively replaced, because they were plastic and the timing chain wanted to murder the engine.
  • The water pump had to be replaced, because the impeller was plastic and the car kept overheating and blowing hoses.
  • The thermostat was bad and had to be replaced, and I swapped the plastic housing with an aftermarket aluminum one at the same time.
  • There’s a small evap leak that triggers a code every 1-2 weeks, but cannot be tracked down. I miraculously got it through inspection once, but I’m hoping it will get worse before the car is due for inspection in 2017, or else I’ll just have to keep replacing the likely culprits until one works.
  • The driver door checkarm snapped in half and had to be replaced. This should have been a 30 minute job, but it took much more than that, because I’d spent 45 minutes filing through and prying out a stuck screw that later turned out to be a bolt.
  • The front shocks had to be replaced.
  • The rear passenger hub assembly had to be replaced.
  • The walnut trim around the gauge cluster and the one around the center A/C vents take turns rattling with seemingly no cure.
  • The center brake light housing is loose and rattles over large bumps, because it’s impossible to snap the housing into place without tearing it out of the rear window.

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  • The rear view mirror used to fall off randomly until I took it apart and inserted slivers of electrical tape between the casing and the clip to add friction.
  • The rain sensor for the wipers likes to detach from the windshield.
  • The cupholders suck and have to be slowly guided out of their housing. Turning with a cup in them will send it flying in the opposite direction, stomping on the gas will send a travel mug into the rear seats.
  • The front end and hood are magnets for rocks and their accompanying paint chips
  • I’m not sure if the heated seats actually work or not.

In summary, it’s much smarter to buy and DD a 15 year old Jaguar than it is to buy and DD a 16 year old Mercedes.