If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Here's How Long it Takes to Go From Zero to 60 in a 32-Year Old Rolling Lunchbox with a Shot Front Suspension and Dubious Reliability™

I said I would. And sometime before it eventually broke down on me, I did.

(Context: http://oppositelock.kinja.com/going-to-do-an-incredibly-unofficial-0-to-60-time-in-th-1796759008)

Drumrollllllll please!


... Okay! Let’s just do this.

Official time was 17 point whatever seconds. SEVENTEEN. FREAKING. SECONDS. You could never have so much fun going so goddamn slow in anything else. Then again, it tried to kill me three times soooooooo all’s well that ends well!


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