Well Oppo, just a few months ago I was wallowing in a sea of self-pity and anger and sadness after breaking up with my girlfriend of over 2 and a half years. I have since gotten a new car, and a new girlfriend, and the little “love you” note she sent before going to bed has me blushing and d’awwing at the same time.
I feel like I’m back on my feet for the first time in almost a year. I have realized now just how toxic my previous relationship was and how miserable Ihad been in the past few months until it ended. But this week has been one for the ages - a brilliant autoX combined with the most loving girlfriend I’ve ever had has made this week amazing. For fun, I’m going to do two things. 1) post some pics from my autocross on monday and 2) Share with you some of the quirks of my old girlfriend so you can share in my laughter at the past while drinking a glass of whiskey. So pour yourself a glass of booze and read through this little list....
Mmmmm, that looks good. And now onto the list!
1) I texted her “good morning” one morning, like normal, and she responded by telling me all about how it made her feel extremely obligated to say something back and it put her into so much anxiety that I needed to stop saying it to her. Which I would’ve believed had she not let literally everyone else continue to send good morning texts. We were officially dating at this time. Her male friends that I was also friends with were all unaware of this and AFAIK I was the only one not allowed to say it to her....
2) She used to watch a lot of netflix at her old job and then complain she never got praised at work. SHe finally got chewed out a bit for not working hard enough and she complained about it. I tried to point out she accepted a job that asked for a self starter and she countered that she was “creatively stifled” and therefore couldn’t work there anymore and quit......only to accept a job at a strip mall photo printing place instead of being a website creator for her old college.
3) Oh here’s my favorite - she would ask me for diet advice, refuse to listen or follow what I gave her (again, it’s too hard and stifling) but the new guy she was into told her that carbs were actually NOT fattening and so she went on his “high carb” diet. Granted, he is 21 years old and walks to and from work in downtown atlanta so maaaaaaybe if you walk 4 or 5 miles a day, high carb is healthy. But for a sedentary woman who maybe walks half a mile once a week, that just causes you to put on weight. Which she did. And she continues to wonder why that’s happening.....Meanwhile she told me to my face there was no way I knew what I was talking about. Never mind I am a biochemist by education and can explain to you at the molecular level how digestion works....
4) One final one - I went to a party after the breakup with the new girl I have been seeing. The ex was there. She texted me the next day saying that she was accusing me of cheating because she figured I had been dating the new girl for a while. Here’s the thing - the ex demanded an open realtionship while we were together and I told the ex about this new girl who I was excited to see. I told her about it multiple times before we broke up. The new girl and I had ONE date while the ex and I were together. The ex forgot all about this, apparently. Not only that, but her default repsonse to seeing me move on was not “Congratulations” or “Oh, I guess that happened” or even “Well, that seems a bit fast.....” it was “He must’ve cheated on me, and this matters now!”. Top tip - don’t do that. Your own cheating will then be exposed for the world to see and you wil be left miserable.
If you are with someone doing these things, just leave. They won’t change. Behavior like this, and so much more, went on for years. I kept excusing it as temporary. At first I said it was college. Then I said it was an ex that harassed her again, or apartment hunting, or her new job. But no, she really is a selfish bitch who needs life to kick her ass so she learns a lesson or two. So I’m out of the picture and much happier for it and am looking forward to my brighter future.
Take care of yourselves out there, Oppo. Be good to one another. But also expect that your partners will be good to you.