Fall is here, and I know it’s a lot of people’s favorite season, but it’s not mine. I like spring, when things are coming back to life instead of dieing and 40 degrees feels warm. That said, while not my favorite, fall and I used to get along just fine.

Then I bought a house in a neighborhood with tons of mature trees. Fall and I are no longer on speaking terms. After five years of dealing with weekly 2-6 inch thick carpet of leaves for two months a year, all of which had to be bagged so they would be hauled away, I finally decided I was done fucking around.

This afternoon I called a number from a Craigslist ad, and managed to get an address to go see a very nice man who, despite his hearing aids, couldn’t hear much of anything. As soon as he opened the door to his modest 1-1/2 car garage, I knew I was buying this thing. This was the garage of a man who bought great tools and equipment, and took excellent care of it. Also, he had the biggest damn bench vice I have ever seen. I complimented him on it.

My new hotness is a Troy-Built leaf vacuum and wood chipper, with a 5hp Briggs & Stratton motor. It fired right up, and I busted out the cash. Fortunately he had also ramps to load the beast into my truck, as I had forgotten mine.

This year, I aim to make fall my bitch. I love new tool days.