Go hypothetical car shopping and complain about FP. Huzzah! :D

‘We’re going to find the perfect car for the “New” average commenter on FP.


- Must have a zero to 60 time of under 4.5 seconds. And that is literally the only performance metric that matters.

- Must be AWD, because anything that’s not AWD can’t be taken as a serious performance car. And again, by performance car all we mean is sub 4.5 second zero to sixty.

- Absolutely no hard plastics in the interior for cars worth more than 40k. Even the backside of the fuse box cover must have hand stitched alcantara on it. For car’s under 40k seats, dash, and door cards must all be some kind of premium material, not a spot of cloth, plastic, or rubber on any of them! The headliner and backside of the fuse box cover are the only places cheap materials are acceptable.


-Must ideally be a hybrid or EV

- Must have 4/5 doors, being a hatch or wagon.

- Must have bold, but non offensive styling. We can’t have something as boring as the SS, but god forbid it takes risks like the Juke.


I think that’s all for now. Have fun finding this unicorn!

Additional challenge: Must weight less than 3,000lbs. Since the Panamera’s pretty much won already.