And if anyone should, it’s me. I have dark skin and a beard, I’ve traveled a lot in Muslim countries, and I speak Arabic. I don’t know how there can be a list, but I’m not on it.

Yet, I’ve never been pulled aside for extra screening, and I always breeze through security and customs.

I’ve never even had rude TSA agents. I always just smile and act polite and they’re always nice to me. I had a TSA agent pull me out of line in front of other people so I could go first in a new line that was opening.

Also, why the hell are people so slow going through security? There are exactly two things in life that I know I do better than 99.9% of people, and that is refilling a Metrocard and having all of my stuff ready before getting to the conveyor belt. I get liquids accessible while I’m waiting on line, shoes come off as soon as soon as I hand off my passport. I’ve never not had to stand and wait with my tray while the dipshits in front of me remember “oh, durr, that’s right, shoes off and liquids and laptop out. Not like this hasn’t been a thing for almost two decades.”