My, my wife, and our agent, at a vacant home today:

[dramatization, gist is accurate]

Mrs. Z: We should make an offer!

Me: I don’t know... did you see that minor imperfection no one else would notice in that one room with the stuff and things? Makes me worry!

Agent: Look at this view!

Me: Yes, it is quite nice... But this house is fucking expensive.

Mrs. Z: We could make an offer that we’re willing to pay, what do we have to lose?

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Me: Well there’s no way this will go for that amount, right?

Agent: VEEEEYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Me: ... Are you okay?

Agent: Oh sorry. Hell no, it won’t. You’ll probably need to do an escalation clause if you really wanted it.

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Me: What are the odds we’ll land it?

Agent: Well... [counts business cards left in kitchen]... So twenty potential buyers have been here in just two days. For this home at this price with the low inventory, probably 25% of them will put in an offer.

Me: ... It’s gonna be like this every home, isn’t it?

Agent: Yep.

Me:

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