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House-shopping tips with that one fella.

Look closely at your potential neighbor’s property. Does it resemble David Tracy’s yard? If not, look closer: you may wish it did. Because there are things worse than a few dozen broken down vehicles. One of them being bamboo.

Illustration for article titled House-shopping tips with that one fella.
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Illustration for article titled House-shopping tips with that one fella.

These bamboo trees are about 25' tall, and two feet from the property line. And this is just on the south side of the property. Let’s move north to see more.

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Illustration for article titled House-shopping tips with that one fella.
Illustration for article titled House-shopping tips with that one fella.
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The bamboo has conquered this retaining wall, growing over, under, and through the concrete.

Illustration for article titled House-shopping tips with that one fella.
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Here’s some loose soil I kicked up on the actual property, 8' away from the neighbor’s. It was rich in bamboo-ness.

My advice: DON’T BE A BAMBOOER.

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