A while back I bought five quarts of Castrol oil. The auto supply store offered a rebate, $5 or so. So I filled out the form, got an envelope, put the form and the receipt in the envelope, stuck a postage stamp on it, put it in the mailbox, and promptly forgot all about it.

A number of months passed, and then the other day I got a postcard back saying “We’re sorry!” (no you’re not) “Your dealer register receipt must indicate one of the participating brands of Castrol oil purchased to qualify.”

This petty shit pissed me right off. So I wrote on the card “This is a joke and I’ll never buy Castrol products again.” (Incidentally, I have used Castrol oil in my cars since 1972.)

I got on line to find out the mailing address of Castrol, and that’s when I discovered that Castrol is owned by BP. Now not only am I a steady Castrol customer (or rather, I was one), but also I have used BP gas almost completely exclusively since 2000. I can’t find the mileage log for my ‘93 Miata, but the mileage log for my ‘99 Miata shows that I spent $19,300 on gas for it, 95% bought at BP stations, and the mileage log for my ‘04 Miata shows another $8,900, again 95% BP gas, and that’s not counting two other cars that ran on BP gas for a total of about 100,000 miles. So when I send off my letter to Castrol/BP management I will also include my cut-up BP credit card.

Congratulations, scammers! You sure got that $5!