So I got this car for "free" by doing a favor for a friend's sister. Since there's no way I can make my money back by fixing it, I decide to make the most amazing description my two brain cells can muster. Things go better than expected. Here are all the details:…

Here's an excerpt from my description:

This car thinks breaking down is something that the kids do in night clubs. It has zero starting/running/driving issues, and unlike that fickle prima donna Achilles, it doesn't have a fatal flaw that will render it useless. All the oil does a great job of staying in the engine and it's (pardon the pun) beneath the car to leave something behind when you park or drive it. It's more environmentally conscious and frugal than a 3rd-year liberal arts major that works part time as a cashier at Trader Joe's.

Let me know what you guys think. Crack Pipe, or Crack Pipe?