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How screwed am I? (Venting / Need Advice)

Currently questioning just how screwed I am after making a terrible decision. I did not pay a single one of my credit cards last month. After four surgeries and lots of time in/out of the hospital, I had to shell out over $3k for my co-pays.

Illustration for article titled How screwed am I? (Venting / Need Advice)

~World Rally Blue BRZ for your time~

Because of that, I just didn’t have any money to cover the credit card payments. We paid our rent, car payment, insurance, and had a little left over for gas and next to nothing left over for food (our cupboards and fridge are still shockingly nearly empty).


And now I’m in a similar position today. All my cards are due today, but I can’t pay them until the 10th when I get my measly check from SSI plus my better half gets her next paycheck. On top of that, I can’t pay them all in full either. I can easily pay my regular monthly minimums plus one late fee this month on all of them - but instead since I skipped last month I owe two months worth of minimums plus two months of late fees.

My plan is to pay as many cards as I can, starting with the ones with the lowest payments needed, and to stop when I run out of money. That means out of my eight cards, I can pay five of them. So on my credit report, I’ll have one month’s worth of missed payments and two on a few lines.


I feel like after missing two months worth of payments, the credit card companies are going to be super pissed and maybe close the accounts to collections? I tried calling the three that I can’t pay this month and last month, but got nothing useful. They told me I either pay the two months worth of balances this month, or they’ll file against me or send it to collections.

I really can’t afford either.

My better half has been working her ass off, maxing out the overtime she can work without getting in huge trouble. Instead of her usual 40 hours of work, she’s been clocking 49-54 hours depending on the week the last three weeks. It helps, but it’s not enough. Plus she can’t do that this week or next, as management caught onto all the extra hours and told her to give it a two week break.


Now she’s looking into getting a second job which I don’t want her to do, as she’d be working at least 14 hours a day most days, plus working 4-6 hours on her current days off - so she’d have no days off to recover from such a workload and I’d never really see her at home much anymore. Her not being around as much could be problematic too, as after all my operations last month I am fairly bedridden for now, as walking is painful and requires a great deal of time. I have to use a cane to get anywhere now, which at 26 sucks.

For our budget, our priorities are as follows: Rent (+ Utilities), Car (Payment - Gas - Ins), Girlfriend’s Student Loans, Food, Girlfriends’ Credit Cards, My Credit Cards, anything left over goes to savings.


I’ve talked to a few friends, and while they want to help, they can’t. My parents can’t help, since they pay my insurance each month and are paying one of my brother’s bills (he lost his job, had to move back in with my parents and my parents had to pay $4.5k to get him out of his lease. He still has car payments and massive credit debt to pay as well, which all falls on my parents now). I already feel terrible with how much time my parents take off work to get me to appointments on top of the $2k my insurance costs them each month plus $1.5k each month in chemo co-pays.

My better half’s parents can’t help either, as my soon to be father in law got injured at work, hasn’t worked in two weeks and won’t be cleared to return for another month and a half. Her parents were already just scrapping by and now have to borrow money from both her grandparents just to pay their bills.


All of my friends are telling me to just say fuck it, not pay the cards for three months and file for bankruptcy. I really don’t want to do that though, since it would trash my already ruined credit score (went from 750 to mid-500s) and cost a ton to go through with. I normally wouldn’t care as much since I have terminal cancer, except I’m the co-signer on our ND Miata, and we can’t afford to lose that car in a bankruptcy filing - we’d have no way to get around or get her to work (her commute is a 10-15 minute drive in the morning, taking the bus would take her 3 hours to complete the same route).

Plus I’m worried about bankruptcy and them going after any assets I have - which is nothing. I’ve sold pretty much everything I own in Jan/Feb except for some books, a few D&D pieces, my TV, laptop and X-Box. Everything else belongs to my better half in our apartment - but from my understanding is since I live with her (without being married yet) they could go after her belongings as well.


My other concern would be wage garnishment - I get a ridiculous $425 from the Fed each month, and we need that to make our budget work. Plus it sounds like they maybe able to garnish her wages too since we live together.

My girlfriend’s parents suggested looking into some of those debt relief programs, but with my ruined credit most won’t take me and they seem super sketchy. I have no idea how they can get your balance down to 25% of what you owe, offer you a monthly plan to pay that off and make money themselves. There has to be a catch, but I can’t figure it out.


I’ve had a few friends offer to help set up a GoFundMe, but I honestly doubt that would work. Ideally we’d need to raise $4.5k to get in the clear on all our accounts, settle a medical bill in collections and make up all the savings we spent paying my last hospital bill. Between my girlfriend and myself, we have maybe 650 Facebook friends. If a quarter of them donated (and I suspect less than a quarter would even see it thanks to FB’s algorithms) $10-20 - that would still only net us $1600-$3000 before GoFundMe takes their cut. I could try sharing it here and in own of the fandom communities I’m a “VIP” in, but that feels really scummy to me.

I’m honestly at a loss of how to move forward from her, and the anxiety + stress + fear are eating away at me. Especially with the companies sending me 3-4 robocalls per day from each card (on top of the 10-15 robocalls I get in Chinese about the IRS). I have enough to deal with fighting cancer everyday and that hardship that’s wrecking my body - I really don’t want to have to deal with this. I just don’t know how to proceed from here.


Thoughts? Ideas? Bankruptcy, Kickstarter, just let the cards go to collections? Even if you have nothing to add, a good luck or hi is still nice. I miss you all on here, wish I was more active than just lurking on my phone.

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