Suggested areas: Alexandria, Arlington.

I’m going to be doing some work with a construction company on the management side of things, this is all accurate.

1. Tear down literally everything related to industry, build condos. Suggested names: “The Parker”, “The Walburn”, “The Residences at Riverdale.” (There is no river anywhere near “The Riverdale.”)

2. Eliminate as much of the little forestry left and build poorly built tract style houses with fake Viking ranges. Extra points if they are literally facing the highway with no sound barrier or anything.

3. Go to the absolute worst neighborhood possible, tear down a couple low income housing buildings and build an urban town center featuring artisan restaurants, as well as mixed use residential. Right across the street. Extra points if there’s a shooting. (True story.)

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4. Gouge pricing as much as possible. $1.5 million for a shitty three bedroom just because it was recently built in an undesirable neighborhood? Go for it.

5. Hire the cheapest labor possible to build your “Residences at the Elizabeth.” Basically guarantee that they will last for 10 years. Extra points if they are terrible at following instructions or don’t speak any English. (This can become an issue.)

6. DO NOT AT ANY COSTS try and get anyone to improve the infrastructure. The roads should not expand at all, no more dining options beyond “The shops at the Port Saxon.” (There is no port)

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7. Bribe the city with cash, they will likely accept it. Actually, don’t even bribe them. Just give them cash and they will take it because they are mostly stupid and corrupt.

8. Forget that people do in fact have children and do not try and have the city build more schools. Overpopulation is key.