As you all know, and I mean you all know, I recently purchased a car. (Pictured above because I love how that shot turned out.) But what I didn't tell you is that I bought it from Asheville, North Carolina. Yeah, I bought a car located 364 miles away sight unseen. Initially the dealer and I came to an agreement that they would take care of the tax, title and registration for me. But, last Thursday I got a call saying that it was too much of a hassle for them to do, way too much mailing between them and various offices in Cincinnati. So they overnighted me a check and all of the documents.

Step 1: Head to the BMV

Yes, in Ohio it's called the Bureau of Motor Vehicles and not the department of motor vehicles (call it pointless). So, you go to the BMV, where you get to wait in line. When it's finally your turn, you go up to the lady behind the counter and ask for an out of state inspection. The lady will then loudly sigh and roll her eyes because her job is so stressful and heaven forbid that she gets to go outside and get some fresh air. She will then need your license and about tree fiddy, (literally $3.50). She writes down your information on a form and returns your license. You then both go outside where she records the VIN, make, model and mileage. She then hands you the sheet of paper that is your out of state inspection. Your now free to go onto the next step.

Step 2: Wait

The title office is only open weekdays from 9am-4pm.

Step 3: Go To The Title Office

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Using great speed, drive from work to Downtown Cincinnati to the title office located across the street from the courthouse. Go inside and say you need the title transferred and give the lady behind the counter your documents, information and pay your tax. This tax comes out to more than you have in your wallet so you pay with your card. This being part of the bureaucratic process, they add an additional fee for making their jobs easier. After a while she'll give you the copy of the title while the bank gets the real thing.

Step 4: The Return of The BMV

Using more great bursts of speed, drive back to the BMV. Once again you get to wait in line. This time a creepy old crazy lady will stand behind you hacking and coughing while talking to herself that she should switch to gum from cigarettes. Then when it once again is your turn, you tell the lady behind the counter that you want to transfer your plates from your old car to your new one. She once again needs to see your license but now with the addition of the copy of the title. You can also use this opportunity to renew the plates. You once again hand over money, but it must be in cash or check, no cards are accepted. You then are good to leave when you get your sticker and registration.