*ring ring*

*ring ring*

Norbert Reithofer: Norbert Reithofer, CEO of BMW, to whom am I speaking?

Me: Hello Mr Reithofer, this is I love you but I've chosen hooning!

NR: Ahh, yes I remember you. You had that mock-up of the 6 Series GT on Oppositelock. We've already prepared our facilities in Leipzig and are due to start production of the car in a couple of weeks, Mr. But I've Chosen Hooning.

Me: Just call me "I love you".

NR: Ok, I love you.

Me: I love you too Norbert, but I am actually not here to talk about feelings. I want to talk business with you. See, I was looking at that 6 Series GT...

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NR: Which one? The 3l 640i GT xdrive M Sport Sports Utility Vehicle or the 3.5l M650d Gran Coupe GT sdrive M package version?

Me: Uhhh... all of them. See, I think they're cool and all but you know what really bothers me? They're not nichey enough!

NR: Not nichey enough? What's more nichey than the GT version of the four door Gran Coupe version of the two door coupe version of a four door sedan?

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Me: Look at your computer, I just sent you an email

NR opens email, sees attachment.

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NR: Dear lord, what is this?

Me: It's the wagon version of the GT version of the four door Gran Coupe version of the two door coupe version of a four door sedan.

NR:

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Me: Mr Reithofer? Mr Reithofer, are you still with me?

NR: What should we call this thing of beauty?

Me: Well, it's sort of a big Touring so we could call it a Gran Touring.

NR: Like a 6 Series Gran Coupe GT? But that wouldn't make any sense in the current BMW naming scheme...

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Me: speechles

NR: Psych, bro Psych! 6 Series Grand Coupe GT M-Sport Xdrive it is! We'll begin production next week!

Me: Thanks Mr Reithofer. Just one thing: Please, please don't make it weigh two tons, ok?

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NR: Don't worry about it...

Me: Phew...

NR: It'll weigh three tons!

Me: Wait... what?

Then he hung up. But hey, at least we get that awesome 6 Series wagon.