I am addicted to Owner's manuals

Illustration for article titled I am addicted to Owners manuals

As far as addictions go, at least this one is harmless and cheap (mostly free) albeit it must seem quite weird and downright sad for an outside observer.


Written car manuals I completely get; Apart from the occasional manga from some asian manufacturers, they are par for the course - good, honest use and service information. Also, from an engineer's point of view, it's always nice to see all the different dash, seat and engine options and how they all combine, what is shared and what is repurposed from the manufacturer's bin. Good times.

Then there are the video manuals which I've only recently discovered. Objectively, they have the production value of Brazzers - the acting, content delivery and transitions are painfully forced. They exist for the sole purpose of reaffirming your purchase decision, making you feel better about yourself - it's like porn, but it felates you, too.


So, as far as actual information is concerned, you'd be better off reading the paper version of the manual. But there is something deeply intriguing about watching grown people pretend to be interested in uninteresting automobiles purely for money, while following a script written by a lawyered-up marketing team who have ignored almost all petrolhead input from the actual engineers, apart from some buzz words. The result is a perverted microcosmos where they all work and care for you.

Also, treating nerdy stock cars like objects of lust is something I only knew about in general principle - until now:

I'm yet to buy a new car and my dad's company cars never came with stuff like this, so I wonder: Have you had these?


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