If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

I can has Jerb?

So between actual work, trying to work out (running sucks, remember that kids) and packing everything up for a transcontinental move, my days have been rather busy. The pending unemployment is like an elephant in the room on speed, riding a unicycle, with a freaking kazoo. Needless to say, I’m concerned about being unemployed so I’ve been applying for jobs. Over this last week, I’ve only received a dozen or so emails saying that “my credentials are impressive” only to follow it up with “but we are following up with others better suited for the position.”

This saddens me when I’m applying to do the same job I’ve been doing for years, and at a substantial discount in pay. It’s depressing spending time tailoring a resume, talking to recruiters only to receive a canned email like this a week later. So I’ve been taking the time to celebrate the little things in life, like shopping for a battery, tires, and a few other odds and ends for the 20,000 mile checkup on the Duke.

I can’t believe it’s been 6,000 miles since her last valve adjustment. It seems like it was only a few months ago I was opening her up... Oh wait, it was. Doing 100+ miles a week on a motorcycle in why there are so many higher mileage motorcycles here in SoCal. I’ve also been thinking about things to say to you, great Opponauts.

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However, instead of packaging up my complete dribble and adding some eye candy to distract even the most astute grammar Nazi’s I decided to apply for yet another job. I’m sure most of you have seen it (if not, you should!) and have applied as well. Not more than a few hours later I jump back on Oppo to see what’s up only to find I have a stalker. I mean, this is my first one, so I’m not sure how I should act. Should I ask them to at least buy me a drink first? Or should I run lovingly into their arms?

Now I’m sure a week later I’ll receive an email like the ones I eluded to above.... actually no, Gawker is a place that doesn’t even email you back if they don’t need your services *sadface* Let’s start that again. I’m sure there will be a cool post on Jalopnik about a brand new writer and how we should fawn over them and never speak of Doug again, which will continue to deflate my sense of self-worth.

But you, my Oppo friends, may be able to read the terrible stringing together of words I term as prose that I sent to Gawker as part of my application. Some of it is controversial, but all of it is heartfelt. So stay tuned!

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Oh, and gratuitous motorcycle picture if you made it this far.

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