When the Stinger was revealed, I took to Oppo and made jokes that it looked like a warmed over Jag XFR-S. Those were mostly to be read in jest, as it obviously doesn’t look like such, but that still hasn’t changed the fact that I just do not like the way this thing looks. It’s too busy, almost gaudy, with too much going on in some areas and not nearly enough in others.

First off, those big front vents in the front seriously need to be toned down. One of the issues I have with this thing is that it looks like they designed a performance variant and that’s it (which, albeit, does make sense considering it’s a Stinger GT), and it feels just too loud and garish for no reason. It completely messes up the flow for me.

Coming around to the side and rear are where my biggest issues lie. That fender vent up there? That has to go. It’s ugly, it’s tacky, and it just does not fit on this car. When I saw it first, I thought, “afterthought,” and even if it isn’t, it could have been integrated better. The d-pillar(?) also feels too fat, and I don’t like that line tracing down it either, which feels like it cuts the entire thing in half.

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Every time I see this car, however, I’m always drawn to one thing: that fucking tail light accent in the rear fenders. That is absurd, to say the least. It doesn’t flow into anything, it actually cuts off the body line, and looks like design flair for the sake of design flair. I used to dislike the tail lights themselves, I called them a Charger rip-off, but I suppose they’re alright, apart from that god-awful extra line.

The sad part is that through all of this, this thing has a really nice interior that looks like a swell place to be. I just would hate to get out of it, look back as I walk away, and see that.

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I’m trying my hardest to deconstruct this thing and find something I like about it. It’s just proving to be impossible. It’s a shame, because I’m sure it’s brilliant to drive and beautifully spec’d. I want to like it. I just cannot.