Between the old codgers bludgeoning young’uns dreams on forums and the people trying to say that Tolkeins dwarves (who write with freaking runes, have names ripped straight from Norse mythology, and who use the Gaelic word for “fort” for “fort”) should speak with a “Hebrew” or “Semitic” accent, I must officially resign my post on the webs for today.

Eye bleach for your time: