I also don’t understand why the universe seems to single you out once in a while and rain terrible stuff down on you all at once. I’ve been home sick for a few days now and finally decided come hell or high water I’d head into work today. I’m spare you the details on my gastrointestinal suffering but it’s nearly impossible to sleep through, especially when you have a toothache at the same time.

I forced myself into the shower after getting out of bed with almost no sleep and headed out to the M5 to find that someone “keyed” it except it looks like they used something quite a lot sharper than a key. Both sides of the car. Full length on one side, twice, nose to tail.

I figured I should drive in anyway having made it this far. The moment I started rolling I realized more was wrong. My front passenger tire is flat. I pull into a bus stop to look at it. The valve cap is still in place so maybe it’s slashed as it’s unlikely someone just held the button down and replaced the cap. I don’t know. I got the air pump out of my trunk and while trying to read the instructions people showed up at the bus stop for their morning commute. Here I am with a very vandalized car trying to figure out an air pump and it was too much to stand there and be stared at while possibly risking publicly losing the Gatorade I forced down on my way out of the house. Bending over to look at the tire was almost enough.


Instead I limped it around the corner and parked it and walked home to take another shower and maybe cry a little bit. I was too angry to cry and still am.

I’ll freely admit I can be a bit of an asshole given the right set of circumstances. However I haven’t had that set of circumstances in a long while. The ONLY thing I can think of is that since I was out sick I hadn’t moved the car in ~5 days and maybe someone was ticked that I was parked in front of their house. It seems far too much damage for that. My guess is that someone else didn’t have as nice a car themselves and bringing me down makes them feel better.

I don’t have any photos to post. I don’t even know if my tire was slashed or if that is just a wildly unlucky thing to get a flat and have your car get vandalized all at the same time. I decided to still go into work. I have a critical meeting around lunchtime and then I’m going to take the bus back home and call the police and Progressive and pray they’re willing to pay for the amount of body work it’d take to get it back to the like new condition it was in when I parked it.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter