I’m panicking and horribly depressed right now. I’m sitting behind the door to my room in pitch black darkness sobbing because I know I won’t be able to pass my physics midterm in 10 hours.

If I can’t pass physics, even if I pass my other classes with exceptional grades, my gpa is gonna tank to the point where the school will no doubt suspend me for s year for failing to meet their academic requirements. And all my friends will go on and get jobs and internships and I’ll be stuck working retail for my parents for who knows how long trying to make ends meet and what little dreams I’ll have left all the while everyone else is happy and successful.

Oh sure I could withdraw from the class, I’m already taking the minimal amount of hours to be a full time student, I’m loosing my mind as I type this.

I’m trying as hard as I bloody can, or I think I can, but I’m ruining myself. I can’t focus, study for shit, I get distracted easily and I just can’t do anything right at the moment. No way I can do anything for my exam even if I stare at my notes, power points and homework problems until the exam, I’m just FUCKED. And there’s nothing anyone can do to help me and it would be a miracle if I could pass this class; but miracles don’t exist for me.

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College: the make it or break it for your future and everything you dream about. Because if you’re not successful here, you’re fucked everywhere else. Just why the hell cant I learn and understand things as fast as everyone else? The hell did I do to deserve this rubbish brain that takes too long to get the important things that make my future. All it knows at this point are fucking cars and that shit won’t help me now.

I just can't do right at this moment.