As some of you may know, I own a 1986 Volvo 240. The 240 is very much a car. It is so much a car that, if you were to give a five year old a pen and paper and told them to draw a car you would end up with a Volvo 240. A box with wheels.

This box I speak of can do 60, depending on the incline of which you are attempting to increase velocity on. That's what a 240 does. It doesn't accelerate, it accumulates velocity. You may think I'm being funny and kidding around, but I'm not kidding. My old 240 would be limited to 50 on some PA roads.

Now, I was on my way to work Monday and we got our Annual rain here in California. The rest of the world might not know this but when it rains in a climate that normally has the humidity of the Sahara Desert the roads become slippery. How slippery? Well, all that oil and dirt that has seeped into the crevices of the road over a period of a year now can come into contact with your tires. Combine that with rear wheel drive and the fact that my rears were bald.

Shame on you, you're saying. How dare you drive with bald tires. Well, I was on my way to get new tires before work, and it was wet, and as the standard procedure for accumulating velocity in an old Volvo you put your foot to the floor.

This resulted in the rears being lit up. How lit up? More lit up than any Volvo going through its mid life crisis has the right to have its tires lit up. They squealed and screeched, and continued to do this for about half a city block before I came to a stop at a stop sign.

Across the street from this stop sign was a Crown Vic with stickers and lights currently being used in a fashion that would indicate its operator was not very fond of the Volvo's attempt to accumulate velocity.


The excitement does not end there. The clerk at the court house, upon seeing my citation for an '22106 - unsafe start' in an old Volvo, burst into laughter.