If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

I hate my wife’s Rogue.

She has a 2014 Rogue. I hate it with a passion. Not for any good reason. Just sort of the vehicle itself and some maintenance crap that’s gone wrong with it.

Summary of my holiday hate for the Rogue——

1. Steering feel of a drunken Itishman on a drunken horse. It sucks.

2. The steering wheel groans when you turn it. Drives me mad. Wife doesn’t even notice.

3. Passenger side heated seat takes forever to heat up. This is about when we arrive at our destination. So my ass never gets warm, despite constantly checking to make sure the heated seat light is lit.

4. The battery died last week. When I replaced it in the semi-dark, it took me like 5 minutes to discover the hood prop is attached to the HOOD, not near the radiator, like every other vehicle on the last 30 years. Also, the battery tie down rods are JUST slightly different in length from each other. Ah, let the laughs commence as the idiot tries in vain to get the bolts to attach.

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5. The auto shut of the heavy lift gate no longer works from the button on the lift gate. You have to use the remote. Mildly infuriating  

6. My wife treats it like the local garbage dump. Cups, wrappers, and 5,000,000 hair bands litter the inside.

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7. She smashed into a curb tonight and blew out the tire. She limped to the local gas station and tomorrow we’ll be installing a tire at NTB. Ah, 2 hours of quality time at NTB  

Ba humbug for this POS Nissan. And yes, I realize much of this is due to my wife’s car-ownership skills, and another part of it is maintenance stuff.

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I done care. I hate the Nissan Rogue.

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