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I have a bruise

I know this sounds like a normal thing that people get when they bump into things, but I basically don’t bruise. I slammed my leg into my boat at about 10mph the other day and had what you might call a “wicked charlie horse” in that my leg was very sore, but I had no visible bruise.

My wife on the other hand, will get a bruise from clipping the corner of the bed on her way by randomly, however gently it might happen.


However, today, I got a bruise.

I was riding bikes with my kids, and I like to mess around on my bike because otherwise it’s a little boring to be honest. I’m always trying to challenge myself on the bike, so I do a lot of wheelies or manuals while riding with them.


Well I have new pedals AND new shoes, and they’re still a little tight to clip and unclip - mind you I had just adjusted them to be looser - and sure enough, I brought my front wheel up a little hard, couldn’t get my feet out, and went up and over backwards right onto the pavement on my back. My hip, I guess, hit the ground first - lower back, but definitely the hip bone. Then my elbow, and my head - thankfully, I was wearing my helmet because my head hit pretty hard yet it did not hurt and I feel fine now. Aside from the bruise. My elbow is a bit bloodied up but basically fine.

My lower back has a swollen spot right over the bone that struck the pavement, probably the diameter of a tennis ball but not all sticking out like that - it’s just an idea of the curve’s radius. It might be 1/2" swollen out above the normal skin surface? And it’s black and blue. It hurts a lot.


It’s just ironic, that, objectively, I take some pretty big risks on my bike with the way I ride. I go 25mph in the woods at night downhill with trees just inches away, and over rocks and whatnot where falling would be quite bad, and over jumps where I’m dropping 6-8 feet maybe, or covering a 15' gap. And when do I get hurt? Dicking around on my road at 2mph with my kids. Because of course.

At least I was wearing a helmet, no joke. Could be worse.

Illustration for article titled I have a bruise

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