I need to get something off my chest. I feel absolutely horrible, and an absolute jackass, but I need to tell someone.
Today, I was driving home from school with a friend in the car. I had stopped for gas, and then pulled out onto a 4-lane road. I didn’t realize it as I did it, but whoever plowed that street did an absolute shit job of it, so as I pulled out I grinded my rear right quarter panel on the ice/snow. I’m pretty sure it’s ok, but I won’t truly know till I clean the car.
Then not a quarter mile down the road, I was approaching a light. I saw a guy (on my right) turn right, before a string of cars were turning left. I don’t know where in my mind I was, but I slowed down at the last second, and laid on my horn and ran a red, probably scaring the shit out of the Lexus who had just turned. I feel like absolute shit, that I was this removed from reality, that I allowed that to happen, no doubt scaring the shit out of my passenger. I didn’t even realize it was red till immediately after when my passenger was basically screaming “It was a fucking red!”. It wasn’t that I wasn’t paying attention, I was, which makes it all the worse for me...
Finally, I stopped by my house which was just down the street to inspect the quarter panel. I didn’t see any dents or pronounced scratches, so I drove said passenger home, before going to a haircut. After the haircut, I was pulling out into a U-Exit (the road is a divided 4 lane road, and right across from the barber is the U). It was dark out, and as I pulled up to the pull out ramp. I thought it was clear, but I wound up cutting off a Subaru.
I feel so stupid. I am extremely lucky I didn’t cause an accident (especially in #2) and that I made it home in one piece, but it’s weighing on my mind. I have a high opinion of my driving ability, and my self-confidence is partially connected to my driving ability, so I’m killing myself over it. I just needed to get it off my chest.