UPS showed up with my tires at about 8pm, and my options were to bring them into the house or put them in the VehiCROSS. I chose the latter. Apparently four 265/75/16 BFGs is the limit of VX cargo capacity.
I’ll likely bring it to my buddy to get them mounted early next week. For now they’re the world’s most expensive air freshener, because there is no better smell than new tires.