If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

I Hope You Are Sitting Down For This One

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Ad preserved below, along with silly pictures... Buckle Up...

Submitted for your consideration is this outstanding vehicle

with a remarkable history. This fine example of German engineeringhas been owned by a number of famous people. Pope Francis usedthis vehicle for a short period as The Pope Mobile, or as theysay in Rome “Da Popa Mobila”. He later returned it because itwasn’t austere enough (it does have AC after all). It was laterpurchased and driven by Donald Trump for several months, buthe returned it because it wasn’t made in America. Hillary Clintonthen purchased it for use on her campaign, but she returned itwhen she found out it couldn’t run on empty promises. I thinksome of Hillary’s missing emails are stored on the car’scomputer chip, but I’ll leave that for the new owner to verify.In 2016 I nosed out Denny Hamlin to win the Daytona 500. Race Weekcalled it “The Biggest Upset in Motor Sports History”. Unfortunately,I was later disqualified by NASCAR for not having enough stickerson the car.Vehicles with this kind of lineage are usually only available at
the high-end auction houses, but you have a once-in-a-lifetimeopportunity to purchase this vehicle right here on Craigslist.The real deal:
2000 VW Golf148,000 miles5 speed manual2.0L 4 cylAC, cruise control, power locks, power windows, heated seats
I’ve owned it 10 years, no serious problems. I drive it fromNavarre to Hurlburt everyday. Gets great gas mileage (30 mpg).I’ve driven to Cincinnati twice in the last year and drove itto New Mexico two years ago. Very reliable commuter car.
Issues:The sunroof was leaking, so I disabled it and caulked it shut.The check engine light is on because I disconnected the MassAirflow Sensor. The MAS was causing it to run very rough, soI just disconnected it.There’s a dent in the lift gate and a cracked tail light. Thedent does not effect the door from working and the tail lightis still legal.The head liner has been removed.The glove compartment hinge is broken.The switch holder bracket on the driver’s door is broken. Theswitches and all the windows still work. The bracket is $10 onEbay.The tires need to be replaced, but I have a set of rims and tiresthat are included with the car.It needs new brake pads all around (4 wheel disk brakes).The ABS light comes on occasionally. ABS sensor probably needsto be cleaned.Runs good, but could probably use a tune-up, oil change, andradiator flush.I only have one key for the car. It’s a laser key, so they’re expensive.It needs wiper blades, front and back.It has a slight oil leak.The airbag warning light is on. I don’t know why, probably aloose connection somewhere.It’s due for a timing belt change (about $300). THIS NEEDS TO BEDONE IN THE NEAR FUTURE OR YOU COULD DESTROY THE ENGINE!
Basically, she’s a 17 year old car. Any lady of substance is
going to have some character lines, that’s what makes herbeautiful. I think it’s a great car for running around town.It has no major issues that I know of, but it may run another10 years or 10 minutes. I’m not a fortune teller. It comes witha bumper-to-bumper warranty that’s good until I have your moneyin my pocket, then you’re on your own. It’s probably best suitedfor someone with some mechanical skills. If you’re a liberal snowflakewho runs to their safe space everytime the check engine light comes on,this is not the vehicle for you.
$2100 hard-earned American dollars. Cash only. No trades.
If you’re a liberal, it’s $2500. That’s to cover the Nancy Pelosistupidity tax. It’s to compensate me for the mental anguish Iexperience everytime a liberal says something stupid.
Navarre, by the golf course.


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