I just did the dumbest thing of my entire life #drunkstorytime

Illustration for article titled I just did the dumbest thing of my entire life #drunkstorytime

And yet even just an hour afterwards, I can already tell it’s one of my most cherished memories. Picture is of my unrelated Hake fish n chips dinner.


Let’s back up.

5pm. Shooting pool in the hotel lobby. Trying to get the *feel* back. I used to be a competitive pool player, but after more than a decade those skills dried up. That said.... After whooping my buddy a few times and playing some solo games, I was feeling pretty confident.


7pm. Walked down to a 3 story outdoor bar is gone to two nights before. They had cheap drinks, a good foreigner/Thai mix, and most importantly.... Free pool on the second and third floor.

9pm. I’m crushing. I’m as far from a beer guy as one can get, and yet I’ve found that Chang beer is... Tasty? Anyways, I’m 3 bottles deep, destroying the competition. Guy from Australia? Good day mate. New York kid? Better luck next time, pal. Thai girl? Taking candy from a baby.


That is, until a gorgeous African lady walks in, and proceeds to stomp me in what is likely the most lopsided pool game of my lifetime.

10pm. Said African lady (don’t remember her name, which I feel awful about) has dominated for many rounds, keeping the crown. I order a bucket of beers as I’d invited some local girls to join me, but after sitting down with Ms. Pool champ... I decide she’s better company. I pick her brain in between rounds, finding out that she’s a med student who’s been in Bangkok fora year now. Hand her a beer, we toast, laugh, chat, etc.


It’s a good time.

The she leaves.

11pm. I was sad to see her go as that meant I was flying solo again, but without her presence I was suddenly the head honcho at the pool table. As I was winning my second match, a dude walks in with two cute Thai girls. About half an hour goes by, and the dude walks up to me saying one of the girls is into me. We chat for awhile and I find out he’s from Sweden, but has spent the past ten years in Bangkok after a vacation he decided not to come back from. Cool dude. Anyways...


I join the guy and girls at their table and start hitting it off with the one girl. She’s amazing. I’m also drunk, but... That’s irrelevant. We’re drinking more beers and dancing a bit, and finally she says that her group is leaving and she wants me to come with. I hesitate, because deep down I’m a scaredy cat who doesn’t like new and scary things.

But by the grace of God I agree, and we head off to the biggest hip-hop club in Thailand, which just so happens to be.... Directly underneath my goddamn hotel.


And the bouncer who checks my passport? I know I’m. He lived next door to me 10 years ago, halfway across the globe. Yeah. Biggest fucking coincidence of my life. To make it even weirder, he also knew the guy who introduced me to the girl.

Which is pretty much Bangkok in a nutshell. The impossible becomes commonplace.....


So the bouncer gets us all in for free, we stay a few hours (Bangkok clubs are like American clubs turned up to 11 and force-fed Crack) and finally... It’s time to leave.

2am. Due to advanced drunkenness and some laungauge/accent barriers, I don’t quite understand what the girl I’m with wants to do. I just go with the flow.


And that’s how I find myself on the back of a Honda Grom, riding bitch to a very much drink rider without any sort of protective gear whatsoever, in one of the most dangerous places to5drive I’ve ever seen.

And... OPPO? I’m going to come clean.

It was the best experience in my life. I hope I have the mental strength and reasoning ability to make sure something so dangerous never happens again, but zipping through traffic, holding onto a cute girl as she expertly navigates the treacherous roadway.... I’m never going to forget that moment. I’d put it above the first time I drove a miata. Above the first time I rode a motorcycle.


I love Bangkok. I could live here forever.

Abyways, it’s 3:30am, and while that’s still early by local standards, it’s late for me.

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