I keep trying to get my picky eater, Cheeto enthusiast boss to try new and different vegan Cheeto substitutes

My boss, who is great in many ways, is an extremely picky eater. So much so that I’ve witnessed her send back a well done burger (with only mayo and cheese and no other toppings) because she noticed the faintest wisp of what might have been pink in the middle. But we share a love of all things Cheeto. Well, except for one.


Crunchy Cheetos are one of my all-time favorite junk foods. For me, it’s not even so much about the cheez flavor as it is about that perfectly dense crispity crunchity texture. I’ve tried for a long time to find an acceptable dairy-free crunchy Cheeto substitute, and while there are many vegan Cheeto-like snacks on the market, I’ve yet to find one that fully replicates that amazing crunchy Cheeto texture. Which means I keep trying new and different vegan Cheeto-like objects from the hippie friendly market.

There happens to be a location of the hippie friendly market right by my office, but since it’s not my main grocery store, I somewhat frequently pop over there to grab a few items on my list that are specific to the hippie market, and bring them up to my office fridge until I go home in the evening. While I’m there, I peruse the plentiful selection of vegan Cheeto impersonations, and often end up buying some new kind to try.

Today, I found Vegan Rob’s Dragon Puffs (With Probiotics!) that are basically like a spicy poofy Cheeto, but with a sort of bbq potato chip flavor to start with before they transition into spiciness. Unlike some other vegan Cheeto substitutes, these are a snack that, if put out in a bowl at a party, any junk food enthusiast would enjoy, without knowing their hippie friendly nature.

So, I walked into my boss’s office with the bag with a smile and asked if she wanted to try them.


No, no she did not. Her only response was,

“Where do you keep finding all these different not-Cheetos things?”

One day boss, I will find a vegan Cheeto you’ll actually eat. Just you wait!

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