So the Internet is up in arms about this dentist that killed Cecil the lion, and honestly, they should be. Killing animals for trophies is pretty disgusting. That being said, I don’t think there should be an outright ban on big game trophy hunts...I just think the rules should be modified...

See, aside from being cruel, the problem with these hunts is that I’m not impressed. You put a lion down with a .375 H&H Magnum? Well yeah, of course you did, it’s a fucking cannon and you shot it from 300 yards. You killed a rhino with a .700 nitro? Great, you could stop a fucking car with a .700 nitro.

See, if taking these trophies is going to be something to brag about, let’s make it tough. Let’s make it something worth bragging about. And so, here’s my suggestion:

If you want to hunt big 5 game in Africa, you can. With a 6 inch tactical knife. Heck, bring friends. As many as you want.


Now you might be saying “Shut up dude, that’s ridiculous. It’s basically impossible to kill a lion with a knife”.

Well, you’re right! BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING LION! Killing it shouldn’t be easy enough for my 71 year old grandmother to do from 180 yards sitting in an air conditioned Land Rover! Sure, if my idea is implemented you will probably die, but just think about it! If you killed a 400 pound lion WITH A FUCKING KNIFE! Now that’s something to brag about. Chop its head off, wear it’s testicles around your neck as a necklace. You deserved it.