I walked past my truck this morning and noticed - with the light hitting it just right - that my neighbor has been slowing beating my truck to death with door dings.

We have assigned parking and I have been using this same spot for something like 4 years now. The spot on my driver's side has been occupied by several different people. This particular family moved in fairly recently and, as you might guess, that's when this started happening to my truck.

The photos don't do it justice. It looks like this side of my truck was shotgunned with rocksalt. To make matters worse, the vehicle being used to slowly sledge mine to death is a four-door, meaning that there are two primary points of attack, not just one.


The neighborhood I live in is fairly quiet and we all tend to keep to ourselves. I'll admit I only know the names of three neighbors, and one of those is a dog. There is a good chance that these neighbors will be gone soon, too. There is something about the condo they live in - it seems to have a higher turnover rate than most condos.

The red paint? They have two cars. I kid you not. So it is not a "car" problem. It is a "people" problem. As in people who don't notice when they are consistently slamming their door into someone else's property.


The first problem I have is 1) what are the odds that someone will react well when you ask them to stop doing something like this? They clearly know they are doing it. Is anyone that stupid? But 2) These neighbors don't speak English. And, I'm not trying to be funny here, I don't know what language they do speak. I have said Hello to them and the response I get back is unlike anything I have ever heard before. I suspect it is only spoken in a small region of a country you and I have never heard of before. A country where they greet one another by slamming their cars together.

Either way, here is the offending vehicle. Notice the doors. They swing out and smash into my truck on a daily basis. Shhhh. Listen quietly. I bet you can hear it yourself if you listen closely enough.


Follow me on twitter: @stevelehto

Steve Lehto is a writer and attorney from Michigan. He wrote Chrysler's Turbine Car: The Rise and Fall of Detroit's Coolest Creation and The Great American Jet Pack: The Quest for the Ultimate Individual Lift Device.