The tech school where I work is in a 3-story office building. The main entrance is in back, but our front desk entrance is in front. Whenever someone comes in looking for another business, Particularly Religious Coworker gives them a looooong speech telling them to go around back.
I don’t know who got the brilliant idea to put the main entrance to an office building in the back of the building while also putting the lobby for one and only one of the tenants of said office building in the front, but it’s a stupid idea, especially because those same people didn’t put up any clear signs saying the main entrance is in back. Every damn day there’s a bunch of delivery people and customers of the other businesses in our building, coming in saying “uhh yeah ummm...I’m looking for suite 301, is that here?”
It would be very simple for Particularly Religious Coworker to just tell them “the main entrance is around back” and be done with them, but for some reason, she has developed, refined, rehearsed and repeated the same speech which she gives to all people who enter our doors and are actually looking for another tenant of our building. She tells them this in her fake sunny Wisconsin
“dontcha know” voice:
Now you see, this is (school). All of us businesses here, we all lease this building. (School) is on the first floor, and all of the other businesses are on the second and third floors. So what you need to do is, you need to go back outside, drive around back, and you’ll see another entrance, and that’s the main entrance. When you go inside that entrance, you’ll see a flight of stairs and an elevator, and you’ll need to check the directory, because to get up to the third floor you need to use the elevator. So if you go park around back, there’s plenty of parking back there, and that’s where the entrance for that business is.
Because my office is down the hall from the front desk, I have to listen to her repeat this whole schpiel 5 times a day every day and curse her existence, wondering why the hell she thinks people who are looking for some other business also need to know that we lease this building. Because obviously, that’s a very important detail to consider when going around the back of the building.
A couple days ago, I was thrilled when some lady came in looking for another business, PRC started reciting her speech about how we all lease this building, and the lady cut her off:
“So do I just go around back? Ok, thanks.”
It was in this moment I decided to make a sign and stick it in the little window next to our door. It has a big arrow on it and says:
This entrance is for (School). For all other (Address) businesses, please use the main entrance in the rear of the building. Thank you!
This sign was a great success, because yesterday, I heard “NOW, WE ALL LEASE THIS BUILDING” a grand total of zero times.
But now I’m thinking, maybe PRC is lonely, and giving that speech is her way of starting a conversation with people, even if she’s doing all the talking and they’re just thinking “so where do I need to go that’s not here listening to you speechify,” but that’s the interaction she wants to create. What if by removing that from her life, she doesn’t have any attention anymore? What have I done? I’m a terrible person!
Ah nevermind, I’m just glad I don’t have to hear about how we all lease this building anymore.