So, I woke up to this scene Friday morning. One of my asshole neighbors hit my car, pushing my driver side mirror in and snapping the rear cover off of it, to boot. No note. No apology. *Sigh.*

We have assigned spaces where I live and the neighbor who owns that spot doesn’t have a car, so usually it’s empty. That is, until this one asshole neighbor with a ginormous Nissan Titan double parks in that space. Everyone in my complex hates this person because they are forever double parking in spaces that don’t belong to them. The whole parking lot is a tow-away zone, but none of us want to be “that guy” and actually get their truck towed. (It would cost $325 to get it back. I know because someone was “that guy” to one of my other neighbors before I moved in and she told me about it).

But you can see how often a problem they are by looking at how far to the right I’m parked in my own spot. There was nobody in the space when I got home from work Thursday, but I’m so used to their assholeness that I just park as far over as I can anyway. This is actually the second time this has happened. The first time, my mirror was just pushed inward and nothing was broken, though.

Almost everyone in my complex, except me, drives a huge SUV or truck (because, Texas) and nobody else ever has a problem fitting their vehicles in our very generously sized spaces. I squeeze my sub-compact Fiesta over as far right as I can every day and my neighbor with her GMC Acadia still has no problem fitting in her space with room to spare.

This wrong-space-double-parking asshole is just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

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So anyway, I pick the plastic cover off the ground, grumble a bit and go to work. It wasn’t until I took a closer look once I got to my office that I realized the asshat had actually snapped off one of the tabs that locks the cover into place. Luckily, it fell into a crevice in the rest of the mirror assembly and I fished it out.

Broken tab. :(
That ring is 100 percent .925 grade Mexican silver.

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A post-work trip to the store for some Gorilla Glue was in order. I ran to Walmart and grabbed a Gorilla Glue pen, along with some toys and Play-Dough for the County Constables who were standing in the windy cold outside the store collecting gifts for their annual Christmas toy drive. Popped the toys in the back of one of their patrol units, said Merry Christmas, and booked it back home to apply the glue.

Behold!

Foamy!

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Somehow I’d made it this far in life without ever having used Gorilla Glue. I had no idea it dried a foamy white, but there ya go. It’s not pretty, but ain’t no one ever gonna see it anyway. I let it cure for the full 24 hours, and then snapped it back on the mirror. Good as new.

I’m glad it worked, because I’d already called to see how much that part would cost to order: $60 before paint matching. No thanks, I’d rather spend $4 on Gorilla Glue.

Anyway, all’s well that ends well. And next time asshat is an asshat, I might finally call that tow truck.