I’ve never really told Oppo how I stand, politically. Fair warning, you might not agree with this, and if you are sensitive to other opinions you probably just shouldn’t click. Sorry to get all serious on you guys, more after the jump.

PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH CTHULHU R’LYEH WGAH’NAGL FHTAGN

ARE YOU READY FOR A REAL CHANGE?

Tired of dishonest political promises? Want a candidate that can bring real change? Here’s a politician that will never lie to you. You can bet your life on it.

Tired of politicians that are little more than puppets, controlled by CEOs and banks? Here’s a candidate that will never accept a bribe!

Tired of candidates offering false inspiration? Tired of not getting what you expected? Here’s a candidate who will give you exactly what you expect.

#NOMOREYEARS

Tired of politicians scrambling to keep themselves in office? Tired of weak, ineffective foreign policy? Do you want someone in office that will rule with an iron tentacle? Do you want our enemies, foreign and domestic, to know the true meaning of despair?

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#NOLIVESMATTER

Tired of politicians discriminating based on race, gender, and economic status? Ready for true equality? All are equal under the elder lord of the deep!

It’s time, my brothers.

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