And if I can express it in three words... HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!!!!!

(Disclaimer: I didn't actually drive it, my brother-in-law did. I sat in the passenger seat.)

Alright, now back to the D. The acceleration is unreal. 0-60 in 3.2 seconds (about 3.4-3.6 with four people in it), but it feels so much faster because of the mountain of torque from the electric motors. The man who administered the test drive directed us to an empty road behind the showroom, and told him to boot it whenever. He did. Almost instantaneously, the car shot like a rifled bullet. I could feel the G-forces on my chest, and the blood that was once in my feet went all the way up my body. My legs felt light for a little while afterwards. It's that insane.

You know the car was built for performance when this is one of the acceleration options:


The frunk space is smaller, I'm assuming so it can accommodate the motor and axle. However, it does have more storage space than a Lamborghini Aventador, which the car was thoughtfully compared to.

The man who gave the test drive mentioned that someone recently traded in a Mercedes-Benz CLS65 AMG with the Renntech package for a P85D. I find that insane, but more so because the D is generally a much better car: it makes more power, has more storage space, and is more efficient.


I'm not going to get distracted by the car's insane power. It's a Tesla, which means it still has all the cool gadgets. As usual, the big tablet in the center console is cool as ever. It was pointed out that you can have two things on the screen at once. This means that you can have your music player AND the rear camera on at the same time. Or you can have the sat nav in tandem with something else.


Also, the car knows the speed limit of the particular road you're on. If you're straying 5MPH over the speed limit, a little notification will show up on the instrument cluster.


There are even slight vibrations to warn you if you're straying over the line, which I hadn't experienced first-hand, but I'm told they're easy to detect. It vibrates in the steering wheel, so given you're holding the wheel at 9-3 or even 10-2, you'll notice them.

Overall, the P85D is an insane car. It's quick as hell, and smart as a whip. If you're a Jalop in the market for an EV, seriously consider a D. And let me drive it. Seriously, I want to drive it.

(Photo Credit: me)

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