Driving home from work in the number 2 lane, a silver Nissan Titan gets on the freeway, and catches my eye in the rear view because it goes across 5 lanes, onramp to fast lane, in about 1.5 seconds. Happens all the time, no crunch, no smoke. As the truck begins to pass me however, something flies out of the bed. Something large enough for me to notice. I check my rear view to see if I can tell what it was. Nothing, but at 75 mph, whatever it was is almost 40 yards behind us. I speed up to let the driver know, and the brain kicks in. “Hey genius, how are you planning to do that at this speed on the freeway?” Valid point. I don’t see any cars behind us with anything unusual sticking out of them, and again, no crunch, no smoke. I hear my step dads voice say “Throttle it back there, Parnelli” as I pass the Nissan ever so slightly.

...sitting and waiting with both hands on the wheel, engine off, radio off...

CHP Officer: Just so you know, I pulled you over for speeding. Any reason you were speeding?

Me: (Brain kicks in again “No matter what you say, she’s heard it before, and you were speeding”) No ma’am. Just heading home from work.

CHP Officer: Well I have a reading of 93 on the laser, would you like to see it?

Me: No ma’am, that’s not necessary.

CHP Officer: OK. Is this your vehicle?

Me: My wifes.

CHP Officer: So half yours?

Me: (chuckle) Sure enough.

CHP Officer: Can I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance please?

Me: (while pulling out wallet) Yes ma’am. The registration and insurance are in the glove box.

CHP Officer: Understood, go ahead and grab it for me....

Me: Open glovebox, pull out owners manual, start pulling out paperwork and insurance cards...

CHP Officer: That looks like an old one....There you go, that’s the one I need. Your address is current? Thank you sir, I’ll be right back. Walks back to her CHP SUV to do her checks, returns about a minute later. Here is your license and paperwork. Have you been to traffic school in the last 18 months?

Me: No ma’am, I have not been to traffic school in over 20 years.

CHP Officer: Ok, well I am only going to write your ticket for 90, because you were not doing anything crazy, just driving fast. I notice you have a motorcycle endorsement on your license and insurance will jack up the rates on everything you’ve got. You are also a much more pleasant person than my last customer. Because it’s 90 you will be able to attend traffic school, and keep the ticket off of your insurance.

Me: Thank you ma’am, I appreciate that.

CHP Officer: Try to keep it between 65 and 75, above that things can get really bad really fast. Be careful pulling out and getting back on the freeway.

Me: I won’t be pulling back on to the freeway, you pulled me over on my offramp, I live right over there.

CHP Officer: Oh, sorry about that. Be safe.

Me: Yes ma’am, you do the same.

$497.00 ride home from work.


TL/DR:
CHP pulls me over for speeding (and I was).
I say “Yes ma’am” a lot.
CHP officer writes my ticket for less than she could have.
I am very appreciative.
$497.00