If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

"I should go on a nice drive out in the country to bed in my new brakes. It'll be fun!"

So there I was, hammering along some tasty Wisconsin back roads, enjoying the hell out of all the great mods and just how well the car is set up now, when I got the dreaded half engine limp mode icon. ENGINE MALFUNCTION, REDUCED POWER.

I hooked into the OBD port and pulled the codes. There were...several.


Just for shits, I tried clearing the codes and restarting the car. Maybe it was just a fluke. With a shot, right? But it just cranked and wouldn’t start.

So I requested a tow with the handy dandy roadside assistance section of the USAA app, called my wife, attached the tow hook to its socket in the front bumper, and waited for the truck to arrive. It only took about 35 minutes.

While I waited for the truck, there were several passers-by, including three guys on road bikes in full spandex who asked if the car was for sale (I told them it was broken) and three stoned teenagers in an old Prius with “Timmy” painted on one of the side windows. The driver said “nice Corvette bro” through a cloud of weed smoke and kept driving on his way.


Then the tow truck arrived.


My car juuuust made it up onto the flatbed without scraping the front bumper.

Now I’m riding to my mechanic, writing this post, and then I’m going to order sushi takeout, that I’ll pick up after my wife scoops me up at the mechanic.


Happy Saturday everyone!

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