I Solemnly Swear I'm Up To No Good

Rate the following vehicles, don’t worry about the context.

  • ‘14 - ‘15 Mercedes c 63 AMG Edition 507, 10k-55k miles: $44-54k
  • ‘17 Ford Police Interceptor Utility (0 miles, NEW:) $33k
  • ‘17 - ‘18 Chevy Tahoe PPV (0 miles, NEW:) $34-47k
  • ‘18 Subaru WRX/WRX Sti
  • ‘15 - ‘16 ml 63 AMG 4matic: $45-55k
  • ‘10 - ‘11 Acura TL Sh-AWD, Manual
  • ‘18 Ford Focus RS
  • ‘13 Acura MDX (low milage)
  • ‘13ish Acura ZDX
  • Acura TLX A-Spec
  • ‘14 Subaru STi Hatchback/Wagon
  • Ranger Rover Evoque Convertible
  • A recent (‘09-) BMW M3/M4/435/335/440i Convertible (I hear these are a bad time.)
  • Volvo S90
  • Mustang GT RTR Spec 2, 22k miles, $36k
  • C Class Convertible?
  • 2012 S63 AMG Sedan $46k
  • 2013 E550 Cabriolet $36k
  • 2018 Jeep Wrangler

So are you done?

Ok I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

What I have: ‘15 2DR JK Rubicon that is falling apart.

What I do: I live near Tyson’s Corner and Arlington, Virginia. RSQ EMT (considering paramedic training,) photographer, and medical Graduate Student in a city, which I commute anywhere between 6 and 32 miles to get to class or work a day. A lot of driving. 4 siblings, but still somewhat of a lone wolf for most of the day. I go to the gym a lot and pick up 1-2 friends for studying or hanging out together in or out of the city. On the weekends, there will be a strong possibility I need to drive an hour or two into Maryland OR into New York City for 2, 3 days at a time for an internship to finish my program.


My top four, ok five: c63-507, Interceptor Utility Police, Jeep Wrangler, and MDX/TL.

Things I like:

  • “sporty”
  • manual-transmission or esque
  • storage
  • park-ability
  • low maintenance
  • open air
  • utility
  • good speakers
  • 2 door situations

Things I don’t like:

  • fakeness
  • front wheel drive skid
  • slow accelerations and CVTs
  • blind spots
  • bad brakes
  • confusing radios
  • bad speakers
  • uncomfortable seats
  • 2 door situations

Vehicles I’ve driven a significant amount:

  • Acura MDX (love)
  • Acura RDX (like)
  • Subaru Forester (1st CVT model) (hate)
  • Jeep Wrangler (it’s complicated)
  • Fiat 500x (hate)
  • 2000 s500 (loved)
  • 2006 Mustang (confused)

Cars that give me strange feelings inside:

  • Toyota FJ-Cruiser
  • E63 AMG
  • BMW M Coupe

The plan:

I loved my Rubicon, but the radio still doesn’t work, there’s rust, bad tires, bad brakes, bad milage, bad seats, bad electronics, things are getting weird. I need to get rid of the Rubicon before it goes to crap, or mod the crap out of it. It’s relatively new and low milage and serviced by the same dealer who knows very well of its build quality quirks and deficiencies, such as weird timing issues and idling noises, the handsfree and USB systems oftentimes-never working for more than 30 seconds with any phone despite being replaced. Passenger seat’s continually jammed in weird positions, and the Jeep has a terribly difficult time fully grabbing reverse and fourth. I’m told this is just American cars.


Going to cash it out and with my savings and some help from a family member, pursue the car I will potentially have for the next 5+ years. If I get a Jeep, I want to wait till June till all the options are available on the JLs. So I need a ride in the interim. (Are the JLs going to be any better?)

A public-safety/utility vehicle seemed ideal because DC roads part the red sea for “inconspicuous” unmarked SUVs. Actually not that, I just need something as ‘tuff’ as my Jeep, but a little less bouncy on city roads and more ‘compatible’ with [the image of] rescue-squad equipment and emergency lighting. Jeeps have a public-servant vibe similar to, but more bro-ish.


A c63 507 seemed... ideal. Ideal. brb.

An MDX or a TL seemed smart, but I don’t know what a second-hand experience would be like?


WRX/Sti seems fun but is the storage and transport functions really that bad?


Are there any medical or rescue professionals who have hipstery tendencies like photography, music, or a strange amount of volunteering responsibilities who can give me some input on what’s worked for you?

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