The C-HR is the new sports/off-road/coupe/bullshit from Toyota. And I can barely stand to look at it. It’s not overwhelmingly ugly, but it’s just so . . . purposeless.

But let’s start with the name. C-HR. There’s a movie production company called The Asylum. They’re most famous for producing Sharknado, but before that they made a number of tiny budget knock-off films, apparently called “mockbusters.” Atlantic Rim, Transmorphers, The Da Vinci Treasure; stuff like that. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that C-HR sounds like a cheap ripoff of CR-V.

Back to the looks. It’s dramatic and mostly terrible. But there are some positive aspects! . . . I assume. It has the most deeply sculpted body I’ve seen on a production car. It’s actually kind of impressive.

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But what gets me most is how utterly useless it is. It’s a coupe “ ” so rear seat room and cargo space will be miserly, it’s not AWD so it’ll be useless as far off-road as these thing go, (like, in a field maybe) and it’s a Toyota so it won’t even be fun to drive.

And then look at that D-pillar and imagine how utterly useless that rear window is. They needn’t have bothered.

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And they’ve nicked the taillights off a Honda Civic.